Numpty Nicky


This is a story about Numpty Nicky. It is a story about right and wrong. Read the story and then think about what you think is right and wrong.

Our story starts with Numpty Nicky arguing with a room full of teachers. She is telling them what they have to do.

‘You will, you will, you will!’ Numpty Nicky is shouting, banging her hands on a table. She is yelling at teachers. She is telling them what they have to do as teachers. Many of the teachers are laughing.

‘I am the Education Secretary! I know what is best! I make the decisions!’ Numpty Nicky continues to howl at the teachers. Some of the teachers are crying. Some of the teachers are crying with laughter.

‘Is it you or that bad man Nick Gibb telling us what to do?’ one teacher shouts back at Numpty Nicky.

‘I’m in charge! I’m the bad person, I mean the person that makes the decisions!’ Numpty Nicky hollers back. ‘And don’t be sexist,’ Numpty Nicky uses a big word and frowns like she has said something important.

Now all of the teachers are laughing, though some are booing too. They make a noise,


One woman is laughing so much she pees her pants. But she keeps laughing. Numpty Nicky is red in the face.

‘You will, you will, you will all become academies!’ Numpty Nicky screams. ‘I am not going to change my mind! It is in the White Paper! I am the Education Secretary! This is what you will do!’ Numpty Nicky yells and bangs her hands on the table some more.

‘Why do we have to be academies?’ one teacher asks above the din. ‘I don’t want to be an academy.’

‘Because I said so!’ Numpty Nicky waves her finger back at him.

A few weeks later Numpty Nicky is on TV. She is being asked questions. She isn’t yelling.

‘We are not going to make all schools academies,’ Numpty Nicky is saying calmly and with a weird look on her face.

‘But you said you would,’ the stern person asking the questions tells her. ‘You said you definitely would. All of the schools. Every one of them. You said you made all of the decisions.’

‘Well,’ Numpty Nicky says in reply, ‘it is the right thing to do but I am not going to do it now.’

‘Doesn’t that make it the wrong thing to want to have done?’ the person asking the questions asks.

‘I have to go home now,’ Numpty Nicky says.

That is the end of our story.

Do you think Numpty Nicky was right to want to do something wrong? Do you think Numpty Nicky was right to not do something wrong even though she still thinks that the something wrong was the right thing to do?

Do you think Numpty Nicky was right to go home? Do you think it would be right for Numpty Nicky to stay at home?

What do you think about right and wrong?


4 thoughts on “Numpty Nicky

  1. Numpty Nicky was and is wrong. But she will still get schools to become academies, just a bit more subtly. And the buildings and land that we own will be given to academy trusts and they will sell it on, and sell land off, and we will never get it back.

    Numpty’s are the kind of thing Tory Scum use to divert attention from the real dangers; just as, in the end the hated Thatcher was allowed to become a focus of hatred whilst the Tory machine damaged things we weren’t looking at.


    • Thanks for stopping by. I’m a little more optimistic about having had an impact on the u-turn [if desperately so!] but I think you are absolutely right about the Tory agenda. It is remarkable, and frightening, how they have taken their insecure share of the vote and used this as a full mandate for anything and everything they want ideologically. Democracy…..


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