Originally posted on 11th August, 2013:
Jay Rayner’s restaurant review in today’s The Observer Magazine excels in his trademark linguistically elaborate denigration or praise – this one entirely and wittily and devastatingly the former – and as a fan of good writing I am commenting on this here.
Take this opening salvo that sets the scene for this restaurant’s initial visit by Rayner and now consequent, imminent demise: It occupies the back room of a hotel for businessmen, dreaming only of an in-house movie and a handful of tissues, and feels like two hours of death by PowerPoint, presented by a lifestyle trends consultant who once went to Hoxton.
Other gems within the overall demolition are these two, The least offensive of the main courses is the crab, baked in the shell under a Cajun mayonnaise gunk. It looks like a hefty sneeze into a shell, after a long swim in the sea to clear a cold; and then this, a tube of breast and a reformed leg, clumsily coated in bright orange crumbs the colour of the cast of TOWIE.